so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
