So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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