Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
