no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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