Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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