Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
