The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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