There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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