I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
