the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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