I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
