I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
