I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
