i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
