You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think i have two assholes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
