the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
