last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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