I must be too annoying 4 u.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
