So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Welp...herpes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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