i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
