no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
