I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
