I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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