so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
