His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
