are you so shy because you have an std?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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