I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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