were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
