i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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