Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
