you guys were way drunker than both of me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
