DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
