Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
