she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
