Soap is not a condiment
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
