I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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