You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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