I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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