I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
