so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
