its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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