Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
