Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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