Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
