I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
