D3 body, D1 cock
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
