I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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