um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
