Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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