I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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