And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
