What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think my moral compass just broke
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