Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
